On Thanksgiving of last year, my husband Steven and I became engaged. We agreed to get married on Sunday August 9, 1998, the first Sunday after Tisha B'Av. In December, immediately after hiring the two rabbis who would co-officiate at our wedding, we began discussing whom we wanted to hire as our ASL interpreters. Certainly, I could not interpret at my own wedding! On the other hand, I wanted to "practice what I preach," providing true access to our Deaf friends and colleagues, not simply providing "lip-service" to the idea of access. In other words, I did not want unqualified interpreters at our wedding simply to say "Our wedding is ASL interpreted!"

    Many hearing people.with good intentions decide FOR the Deaf community whom to hire, instead of asking the Deaf community whom they recommend. It was important to us that we hire two ASL interpreters who could meet the communication needs of our Deaf guests. We therefore selected two ASL interpreters whom our Deaf guests recommended. It was obvious that two ASL interpreters were required for the job; our wedding celebration began at 10:30 am and ended at 5 pm. We and the Deaf community wanted two ASL interpreters who had experience working together and who were willing to study with my husband and I in order to understand the traditional elements as well as the unique themes of our wedding simcha. These included Kabbalat Panim, Bedekin, our egalitarian wedding ceremony with two rabbis speaking, entertaining the chatan and kallah, a double Mezinka, and a full Birkat Hamazon with Sheva Brachot.

    In all our subsequent hiring decisions—band, photographer, florist, etc.—we made clear to these independent contractors that one of our primary concerns was to provide quality access to our Deaf guests. For example, any band that wanted our business had to agree beforehand to work with our ASL interpreters. In fact, the band we chose wrote in the contract that they would meet with us ahead of time to exchange information needed to assist the ASL interpreters. We followed the same model when hiring the florist and photographer. The florist had to agree to provide floral arrangements that were not so tall as to interfere with visual access. Likewise, the photographer and videographer agreed to make certain that in their zeal to capture moments on film they would not inadvertently block visual communication.

    I then began to work closely with the two rabbis officiating at our wedding. Both rabbis were asked and reminded to explain all of their "Jewish comments when they were speaking informally. Everyone who spoke including parents, best man, people offering a special toast, were requested, and many did remember, to give us copies of their speeches in advance so that the two ASL interpreters would be well prepared. I too typed up a 15 page document for the ASL interpreters explaining the traditions, concepts, and contexts of the entire wedding celebration. I then studied with these two women for several months prior to the wedding.

    The manner in which access was implemented during our wedding day was just as important as the preparation. The two ASL interpreters walked down the aisle, following the two rabbis, as part of the procession. I did not want the ASL interpreters at our wedding standing "in the corner" off to the side somewhere. I wanted people to know that, just as the rabbis were an integral part of our wedding day, so, too, would our ASL interpreters who serve as our communication bridge to all our guests. The ASL interpreters agreed to complement the dress code of the wedding party by wearing a solid color, modest, full-length dress of the color of their choosing.

    The music for the processional did not begin until after the two ASL interpreters walked down the aisle and took their place stage-left of the Chuppah (our Ketubah was displayed stage-right of the Chuppah, creating a wonderful flanking effect better than any floral arrangements could provide). Additionally, none of the processional music had words. After the ceremony, we continued to work closely with the Deaf community and the ASL interpreters to provide visual access to the post-wedding festivities. This included my husband's singing me a surprise song, the coordination of which he had resolved with the Deaf community and the ASL interpreters on his own.

    In short, providing access to our wedding day, although often challenging, time-consuming, and complicated, was one of the most worthwhile and meaningful expenses connected with the wedding. Yes, we paid the interpreters according to their usual fee. We did not expect them to donate their services as a gift to us, anymore than we would expect the rabbis to donate their own services. It was definitely a learning experience, but a successful one! Most importantly, I was able to "practice what I preach." I demonstrated my commitment to access by hiring the ASL interpreters as early as possible, immediately after hiring the rabbis, and before hiring the caterer, the band, etc. There simply is no substitute for quality access.